Cameron appeals for ‘calm’ so he can at least finish one holiday this year

wearing Bermuda shorts and ready to go again at a moment's notice

David Cameron has today called for ‘calm’ throughout the world and at home, after yet another holiday had to be interrupted so he could return to London to chair a meeting of the National Security Council’s Libya committee.

It is the second time his holiday plans have been disrupted this summer, having abandoned a break in Tuscany earlier this month due to the riots across England but also to escape a nasty little argument with a waitress which was threatening to turn into an international incident.

Back at number 10 Downing Street he said the priority in the next few days was to ‘preserve civil order at home and abroad’ and ensure that he could look through the brochures in peace and plan another trip which wouldn’t be so rudely interrupted. ‘Of course we recognise the urgency of tackling the multitude of national and international crises, but I’ve just bought The Da Vinci Code and an extra-large bottle of Piz Buin, so let’s maintain some perspective,’ he said, ‘I’ve been meaning to read some Dan Brown for years, and I’d look pretty silly using my new lilo at home in the bath, like George Osborne does.”

He said considerable planning had been done to ensure this was the case next time, with a window of opportunity identified in September when key people would run basic services. ‘UK and NATO forces will be deployed around the globe in potential hotspots to maintain a respectable amount of status quo to ensure that I can at last have a whole week of peace,’ he added with a sigh of relief.

A close friend of Mr Cameron said; ‘David takes his job seriously; he needs his well earned down time to recuperate and regenerate, that’s why he chose a career in politics. Where else can you get that sort of annual leave entitlement?’

‘He’s just glad he didn’t go anywhere nice,’ the friend added, ‘it’s so much easier to pull yourself away from a cold Cornish beach or an Easyjet departure lounge than it would be if he’d been spending a couple of weeks on an oligarch’s yacht in the med, like George Osborne does.’

Nobody knows whether or not Deputy Prime Minister Nick Clegg has returned early from holiday but polls suggest that if he hasn’t, he really should ‘see it through’.

Simonjmr (Hat tip to rickwestwell and Vertically Challenged Giant.)

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Posted: Aug 19th, 2014 by

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