In a landmark finding, twelve years of intensive research has finally answered a question as old as the hills. Why do men pay for sex?
‘I think we can be definitive now,’ said Miriam Halesowen, Professor of Social Trends and Facebook at the University of the West of England. ‘Our £15 million project is complete. We’ve spoken with thousands of men who have accessed sex workers over the past ten years and run our findings through three levels of analysis in our most powerful computer. Every output was the same, men pay for sex in order to have some sex. There we have it. Astonishing.’
Jerome Perkins, a regular user of sex workers, said ‘I like doing sex but I’m socially incompetent, single and have appalling body odour. You do the math.’