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Government raises UK bullshit threat level to ‘severe’

The UK’s bullshit threat level has been raised from ‘substantial’ to ‘severe’ meaning that the possibility of impending bullshit is highly likely.

In a statement today Home Secretary Theresa May said ‘although we have no specific intelligence to suggest that an attack of bullshit is imminent the threat level has been raised due to several factors including the recent increase in media appearances of Nigel Farage, the run in to the Scottish independence referendum and the new series of the X-Factor starting this weekend’.

Speaking while wearing a ludicrous hair-net Prime Minister David Cameron broke away from a tour of the Tunnocks Tea Cake factory outside Glasgow to tell reporters ‘we would ask members of the public to remain vigilant and on the lookout for bullshit wherever they may hear it. With the party conference season around the corner the volume of bullshit is due to reach dangerous levels and the threat warning may have to be increased to critical’.

When asked to comment on the Prime Minster’s remarks Leader of the Opposition Ed Miliiband described them simply as ‘utter bullshit’.

harrypalmer

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Posted: Sep 3rd, 2014 by Guest

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