Salmond proposes ‘Mars Bar currency’

Amid the furore about keeping the pound as its currency and the confirmation that it could take ‘over five years’ to join the EU, Alex Salmond has revealed that the Mars Bar would be an interim currency.

‘One king-sized Mars Bar would be the equivalent of one British pound and a deep fried Mars Bar would be like a fiver’, said Salmond today. ‘I suppose those frozen Mars ice creams you find in petrol stations would be like a fifty-pound note’.

He added: ‘We’ve measured the volume of the major Scottish banks and calculated how many freezers we can fit in them to store Mars Bars. We expect to be able to hold at least eighty million bars in reserve’.

One economist pointed out that, eighty million Mars bars would only keep the economy running for three-weeks. ‘They eat ten million every week without other transactions and they only cost eighty-pence to buy, so I think the policy has some significant flaws,’ he said, adding, ‘and what’s to stop fraudsters deep frying or even freezing their own Mars bars?’

throngsman

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Posted: Sep 8th, 2014 by

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