In what is seen as a further blow to the campaign for Scottish independence hundreds of Edinburgh prostitutes have signed a letter sent to the Scotsman newspaper claiming that they may have to raise their prices in the event of a Yes vote in next Thursday’s referendum.
The letter states, ‘Due to the potential increase in the cost of living in an independent Scotland and the associated economic constraints it is inevitable that the cost of sexual services such as hand-jobs, blow-jobs and other non-specific kinky stuff that you would never get your wife to do will have to increase if workers in the sex industry are to maintain a reasonable standard of living’.
The Yes campaign have moved quickly to denounce the letter as scaremongering but it seems that the threat of increased prices for sex is a potential factor for some undecided voters. 53-year old mechanical engineer George Winters, who didn’t want to be named, told the Scotsman ‘I don’t mind the banks going south or food prices increasing but the thought of having to pay more than a hundred quid to snort coke out a hookers butt is a step too far, I’m voting No’.
However, one sex worker known as ‘Talula” who works in the city’s Leith area told Sky News that she believes not all prostitutes will be putting up their prices in an independent Scotland. ‘If some girls don’t hike their prices then the others will have to remain competitive and it will be a race to the bottom, which is extra. And I don’t do it by the way, you’ll have to see Shirley for that.’
When asked if she had drawn up any contingency plans to move her business south of the border should Scotland break from the union Talula replied simply ‘Look luv I huvnae got all night, do you want this blow-job or not?’