The Ministry of Defence has announced plans to form a new ‘Tramp Army’ made up of homeless men. Defence Secretary Michael Fallon said the new recruits would make up the numbers after the ‘Army 2020′ project succeeded in reducing the army by 30,000 regular troops but ‘forgot’ to make up the number with territorials, as had been originally planned.
‘Tramps make excellent soldiers,’ Fallon said. ‘They are experts in urban survival techniques, they can survive in the field on as little as four cans of Special Brew per day and it’s actually funny watching them fight. And they’re cheap. Most homeless people are ex-military anyway, so we’re just putting something back. It’s a form of recycling, really.’