Sid James sex pest trial jury returns verdict of ‘Oooh, saucy!’

er, carry on...

There has been a dramatic turn of events at the trial of 1970s icon, serial cackler Sid James, who was alleged to have been repeatedly filmed being a blatant sexual predator when his wife, Joan Sims, wasn’t looking. The jury has sensationally decided that ‘that was how it was in them days’ and that no further action should be taken.

Despite hours of footage being shown to the jury in which the well-known actor was obviously ‘trying it on’ with a variety of voluptuous blonde ‘dolly birds’, all of whom were called Barbara Windsor, the jury has concluded that it was ‘all a bit of a laugh’, adding several alternative verdicts in case the judge wasn’t convinced, such as ‘Cheeky!’, ‘Afwafwafwah’ and ‘Oooh, you are naughty!’.

Video evidence seen in court, including ‘Carry on Doctor’, ‘Carry on Camping’, ‘Carry on Don’t Lose your Head’, ‘Carry on Carrying on Exactly How You Used To – With Impunity’, damningly showed the well-known media figure openly ‘goosing’ his victims, on screen, sometimes without even using his hands. In several instances, it appears that an invisible accomplice hiding in the same bushes added to the victim’s humiliation by blowing a trumpet at precisely the same moment as James grabbed her bottom.

Many feel concerned that James’s blatantly sexist behaviour has simply been brushed aside in the name of ‘entertainment’ with the majority asking ‘Why he was allowed to get away with it for so long?’, ‘How the hell did he do that?’ and ‘Blimey, did I really use to think Carry On films were funny?’. Pleas in mitigation that all the women wanted was ‘to be wooed’ have not gone down well with the public.

‘This verdict is a shocker. That kind of behaviour wasn’t funny then and it’s not funny now. I’m so disgusted that I’ll never watch a Carry On film again,’ said Barney MacGuire, media commentator for the Daily Mail. ‘We would never dream of demeaning women in this way.’

Mr McGuire then added that The Benny Hill Show is still available through German cable TV via a special Daily Mail offer before proceeding to be chased through the Mail offices by a group of attractive young women who had stripped down to sexy lingerie for no apparent reason while a saxophone played in the background.

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Posted: Sep 24th, 2014 by

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