Following an internal review of the damage caused by NSA whistle blower Edward Snowden, the government’s ultra secret agency responsible for intercepting Facebook feeds and Twitter trends has announced that it is adding an additional layer to government encryption.
“Public/private key encryption might be sufficient for day-to-day communications but for those messages that really should be secure, such as photos of cabinet ministers’ cocks, it requires something harder to crack,’ said a GCHQ spokesman. ‘So we’re now routinely encrypting all such messages in Welsh as well.’
Monitoring of Intelligence Agency activity by internet security firms has shown a significant reduction in traffic as Government agencies across the globe struggle to interpret the new data, causing a backlog.
‘It’s so secure they haven’t been able to decode a single message so far,’ the spokesman said, proudly, ‘although to be fair, we can’t understand them either.’