The Economy has awoken with a renewed sense of confidence this morning after intensive counselling from a cognitive behavioural therapist during the past couple of days. There are now hopes that it can get back on track after what the it described as ‘a few wobbles’ of late, even though professionals have warned that a full recovery may take some years. In spite of attempts to talk down the extent of its problems, experts say that in fact low self-esteem issues could have seen it headed for full-blown depression.
‘To be honest, I wasn’t talking to myself in a way that was particularly helpful,” the Economy admitted. ‘When I look back on it, my problems had been building up for years, but I just hadn’t been facing up to them. Eventually I started telling myself that I was overheated and worthless and I got myself in a right state.’ All I could hear was people being negative and criticizing me all the time and I just wasn’t robust enough to cope. I was bursting into tears and found it really hard to get out of bed.’
Friends of the Economy have been making an extra effort to be patient, attentive and positive, lending a number of self-help books such as ‘How to start loving the one financial system that matters – You’ and Paul McKenna’s ‘I can stop you granting unsustainable sub-prime mortgages’. A number of close friends have also been lending the Economy large amounts of money till it gets itself sorted out.
‘Now at last I am recovering some of my confidence. I wake up in the morning, look at myself in the mirror and say ‘I deeply and unconditionally love myself. And I’m definitely not going back to my old ways with all this money they’ve lent me. Although I’d have even more if I bundled up some high-rate loans and sold them on against the security of thousands of other mortgages that no-one else seems to want…’