Conservatives to be reintroduced to Scottish Highlands

A small number of Conservatives have been released from captivity into the North West Highlands as part of a project to reintroduce the species to Scotland. Although there remains a healthy population in England, the Conservative is believed to have become extinct north of the border almost twenty-years ago.

Conservationists behind the project hope that by releasing two sets of male and female Conservatives into the wilds of the Scottish countryside they may survive long enough to multiply and become a sustainable species once more.

‘It won’t be easy for them’, says project coordinator Fenton Barnes, ‘our hope is that the Conservatives will be able to survive on their natural food source of grouse and gin and tonic long enough to gain a foothold in the local environment and without wrecking the eco-system.’

Many young people can’t believe that Conservatives once roamed freely in Scotland, having only ever seen them at the zoo in London or on old film footage from the 1980s before they started going rabid and were chased out the country.

For the moment the public are being advised to be wary of any Conservatives they may come across and are being warned not to approach them under any circumstances. ‘They may look harmless’, added Barnes, ‘with their tweeds and twinset and pearls, but they can be vicious and inflict great damage’.

‘Anyone who sees a Conservative should back away slowly without making eye contact and at all costs don’t accept any invitations to supper or drinks at the golf club’.

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Posted: Nov 10th, 2014 by

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