At least 6000 layabouts are to be culled after a man exhibited symptoms of ‘man flu’ yesterday on a Yorkshire farm. There is speculation that the carrier may have ventured to the continent during the seasonal ‘booze cruise’ migration. It is feared that the contagion may spread as humans are often packed into freight crates called ‘commuter trains’ in inhumane and insanitary conditions. Many are unable to perch or roam for much of the journey and can develop sores and stress-related ailments.
Although this is a less serious strain of man ‘flu, the cull is in line with NHS precautions and the current discharge policy at A&E departments.
Kevin the Swan