Tony Blair has revealed that his 2014 Christmas Card photo was originally intended as part of a Psy Ops campaign to frighten jihadists at Guantanamo Bay.
‘Look, if we want win the war on terror, we have to be prepared to use extreme tactics’, he told reporters. ‘Psychologists have been using pictures of Cherie in experiments for years, so they’d already obtained approval from their ethics committees.
‘Initially they just wanted a giant poster of Cherie looming over the prisoners, with a recording of Ray Winstone speeches on continuous loop, but Cherie wouldn’t agree unless I was in the picture too.
‘The shoot took three days. Apparently my face isn’t scary, just massively untrustworthy, so it was diluting what scientists call the ‘Cherie Effect’. Eventually we hit on the ‘teeth bared’ look and knew we had a winner.
Nude photos of Cherie Blair with a ‘come hither’ look had previously been banned under the Geneva Convention. ‘I don’t know much about the Convention’, said Tony, ‘but they scare the shit out of me’