The rural seat of Trumpton is ‘totally winnable’ by UKIP, Nigel Farage told reporters after residents of the sleepy Trumptonshire village mounted a protest on Twitter. ‘We honestly thought this far-fetched-sounding UKIP party was made up by the media, and didn’t really exist,’ conceded villager Chippy Minton. ‘Now we know the truth, and that they are targetting the Camberwick Green area we are worried, especially Miss Lovelace the milliner. Yes her three dogs are Pekinese, but deporting them to China would be unfair as they were born in Chigley’.
Meanwhile, UKIP has continued to prepare to field parliamentary candidates more widely than expected with members throwing their hat in the ring in Ambridge, Narnia and the Island of Sodor.