Clegg ‘in tears’ after Cameron reveals truth about Santa

it's really going to hurt when he reaises Lib Dem voters don't exist either

Nick Clegg is reported to have fled the Cabinet Briefing Room in tears today following an ‘emotional’ and ‘frank’ discussion with David Cameron about Father Christmas.

‘I told Dave to stop,’ said Vince Cable, ‘but he seemed to be enjoying Nick’s discomfort a little too much. He had this sly little smile on his face. George Osborne was there too, warming his backside against the fire and throwing in snide comments about the Tooth Fairy.’

‘I feel terrible now, I should have prepared Nick for this,’ Cable added. ‘We all assumed he knew the score. When I broached the subject of the birds and bees last year Nick told me ‘yeah, I know all that, duh’, though it turned out that he still thought storks played a part. That should have been a warning, really.’

‘He’ll be all right. He just needs a little time to get his head around it,’ said wise old Mr Cable, who knows everything. ‘It’s always been Nick’s job to put out the mince pies and carrots, but this year the Camerons are going to ask one of their children to do it instead. I suppose it’s a coming for age for the Party as well as Nick – it shows the LibDems are maturing. Though frankly, with a general election looming, I wish I still believed in magic.’

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Posted: Dec 9th, 2014 by

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