Theresa May announced today that the cover-up into 1980s child abuse will be delayed due to the amount of evidence that needs to be destroyed before the inquiry can begin. Erasing hard disks, deleting all email copies and shredding documents is taking longer than expected, despite expert guidance from the Sun’s editorial team.
May stated today: ‘I shall postpone the cover-up until after the election to avoid the reelection chances of listed paedophiles being jeopardised’. ‘But’, she added, ‘I make two promises. First, that this cover-up will be completed before the Chilcot “Iraq War whitewash” is completed. Second, that this cover-up will be more believable than the FIFA corruption report.’
Keith Vaz, head of the commons committee reviewing the cover-up, was unimpressed, claiming that many MPs, peers and members of the judiciary are ‘living under the dark shadow of evidence’.
‘The sooner the evidence is destroyed and the whitewash completed, the better’, he said. However, he agreed not to press the matter further in exchange for his photograph appearing in all the newspapers