Performance artist and religious leader, Jesus, today publicly thanked the crowd-sourcing funding web-site Kickstarter for making his ‘second coming’ tour a reality.
Jesus, 2014, released a statement to the world’s press saying: ‘I’ve been trying to get funding sorted for my return for two millennia now. I’ve tried all sorts of ways of putting the funding in place; tithes, taxes, threats of purgatory, but traditional organised religion has got me nowhere.’
‘Hundreds of years worth of worldwide plate collections really haven’t got me the bucks I need for such a big show. To be honest the cost of raising the cash, the priests, the churches, all that stuff makes a massive dent – I see squat all of the cash frankly.’
‘Kickstarter has been a game changer. I put my project on the site and with five days still to go, I’m 95% of the way to getting the $2billion I need. It’s magical that site. I really like the idea of bringing backers and creators together and, let’s be honest, you can’t back a better project than the original creator, know what I mean? Working with a community of people making their dreams come true has been liberating and I can’t wait to return and bring world peace to you all.’