Nottingham man abandons attempts to work out what day it is

As the festive season drags on, Nick Warren (59) of Nottingham has ceased trying to work out what day of the week it is.

‘I am pretty sure that Christmas Day was a Thursday, but there were three Saturdays in a row before that and since then it seems that Saturday and Sunday have alternated. Shop opening hours don’t help anymore and I distrust Google Calendar. Friends tell me that today is Wednesday but that just feels wrong. Star Trek films are on the telly and they are only allowed at weekends. I give up.’

Doctors across the UK report cases of temporal disorientation in patients at A&E with many sufferers stumbling around in a confused state asking staff, ‘Is it Thursday yet?’

Emergency services are reported to be buying up stocks of calendars for victims to ensure the economy can restart on January 5th 2015.

Nick Warren

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Posted: Dec 31st, 2014 by

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