In a community already devastated by murder, dour-faced detectives will tackle a spate of shocking crimes that culminate in the vandalism of the cricket pavilion.
Hoping to garner better viewing figures than the US version of the show, Broadchurch creator Chris Chibnall has promised to look at the darker side of stolen pick’n’mix. Award winning Olivia Coleman will give another stellar performance, drawing on her years of training at the Judy Dench Drama School for Smiling, while David Tennant reprises his role as ‘the bearded weasel’.
Referencing plotlines from the first series, viewers will be left on tenterhooks as to the identity of the perpetrator of the vomit puddle next to the war memorial. Bookies’ favourite is film star Charlotte Rampling, who joins the cast as a woman coming to terms with damage to her allotment. In one particularly harrowing episode Oscar-nominee Marianne Jean-Baptiste, will discover that someone has been selling unlicensed fish without due health and safety measures.
Refuting criticism that the show has run out of ideas, an ITV spokeswoman said: ‘Only Broadchurch is addressing the serious issue of piggybacking on your neighbour’s wi-fi. These may seem like petty misdemeanours but to your average Daily Mail reader, this is serious stuff. No one wants to live in fear of someone forging a parent’s signature on school notes, breaking noise ordinances or worse still, posting flyers on a telephone pole. It’s gritty. It’s grim. It’s got dog poo everywhere.’