The French right-wing has received a boost after social media surveillance found millions of foreigners and immigrants committing identity fraud and attempting to pass off as respectable French citizens called Charlie.
‘Thank the Lord our security services are monitoring Twitter and found so many of these bastards claiming ‘Je Suis Charlie’ when actually they were called Mo, Ahmed, Mohammed, and even Dave,” said Jacques Le Pen of Liberte, Egalite, Frenchy Only.
Fortunately, despite their cunning use of hashtags to try and fool the rest of their citizens, they could be cross-referenced with their government issued identity cards which quickly exposed the lie. It turned out some of them had not even changed their Twitter handle from their original name. Precisely what we expect from uneducated immigrants and proof we need more government surveillance – I personally CC the government into all my emails to show them my patriotism despite them being dismissed as the ‘incoherent ramblings of an idiotic xenophobe’.
“We’re not scared of them and we won’t be put into hiding by them!” Le Pen added, by telephone from an undisclosed location.