Hundreds of Page 3 girls released from captivity

Carly, 19, from Essex has a thing or two to say about it...

Hundreds of Page 3 girls were seen fleeing from The Sun offices today. It is thought some may have escaped from their captors while others were freed as The Mail Online closed in on its territory. The two groups have recently been engaged in a fierce battle, forcing The Sun to retreat to the moral high-ground.

One witness described the scene as ‘chaos’ as the girls, many of them emaciated, half-clothed and barely out of childhood, ran from the paper’s headquarters in Fleet Street and were bundled into nearby taxis. Nothing is known of the fate of a smaller number of Page 7 fellas previously abducted from various stripping dance troupes, who remain missing.

It is widely feared that their cruel masters had forced many girls to convert to blonde. The police said the former captives will be treated by psychologists and beauticians to achieve normalisation, though those worst affected by the brainwashing process may be dropped into Celebrity Big Brother as a ‘halfway house’ to ease them slowly back into obscurity.

The Sun has long used Page 3 girls as hostages, demanding successive governments give them special privileges and immunity from prosecution in cases of phone hacking and threatening to humiliate the models further if their demands are not met – possibly by forcing them into pop careers. However, others had argued that the topless stunnas are merely a front for the more serious crime of pun-running.

The tabloid has been releasing a photo of one model each day smiling mockingly at the camera, along with information extracted through interrogation, such as her likes and dislikes, where she plans to go on holiday and what she thinks of the budget statement. However, a leading psychologist said: ‘Although they claim to be being treated well, this is classic Stockholm syndrome.’

The Association of Softcore Pornographers has denounced The Sun, claiming it ‘has nothing to do with the work of the vast indecent majority of leering sleazy photographers’. In Parliament, David Cameron also condemned the tabloid, reiterating his government’s policy of not giving in to the demands of kidnappers, and claiming he only ever bought it for the football.

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Posted: Jan 21st, 2015 by

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