Goths getting in the way of fight against terrorism

Home Secretary Theresa May has published a new report that blames Goths for hampering the war against terror. ‘It would all have been over years ago if it wasn’t for the stupid bloody Goths posting all their self-harm and suicidal fantasies online,’ she said.

For example, GCHQ had dedicated hundreds of man-hours investigating the comment “I hate this life, I am ISIS a friend of the slaves and we will be free”, which turned out to be from Charlotte Ellis (Twitter handle ‘MsDarkWeb’) from Bradford, who had posted it online after attending a Cure tribute band concert.

Asked if the Security Services would be following up the many ‘Killing an Arab’ updates, May replied ‘I am become death, the destroyer of worlds – oh bollocks…’

Hardev

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Posted: Jan 22nd, 2015 by

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