‘Charity Muggers’ is misleading and unfair on us, say actual muggers

The term ‘charity mugger’ was deemed offensive and unfair today by a leading Muggers’ Union.

Often shortened to ‘chugger’, the phrase was coined to describe the charity agents who prey on innocent High Street shoppers in a bid to raise funds, but Andy Tover, chairman of the Alliance of Muggers and Street Thugs, said it was unfair to tar his members with the same brush.

‘Ninety-nine percent of genuine muggers will just knock you over the head and take your wallet,’ he said. ‘We would not dream of forcing you to make eye contact or engaging you in some light-hearted joshing. And we certainly have no intention of making you feel guilty about not giving a fiver a month to endangered pandas when you know full well you have just blown 200 quid on some new suede boots.’

Asked for a more suitable term for the zany, hi-viz-clad youngsters, Mr Tover suggested ‘Chunts’.


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Posted: Feb 4th, 2015 by

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