European Court rules pacts with Devil ‘not legally binding’

People who sold their immortal souls to Satan are celebrating the latest decision by the European Court, which has ruled that they were victims of ‘aggressive sales tactics’.

Unemployed Jason Brierly, 23, entered into a midnight pact with Beelzebub in March of last year, consigning himself to eternal damnation in exchange for a crate of Heineken and a Domino’s De Luxe pizza. ‘It was too wet to go out and get them myself’, he explained, ‘and it seemed like a bargain at the time, especially when you consider the extra pepperoni topping and the voucher for 50p off the next purchase.’ He insists the lingering sulphurous odour in his bedsit was left there by Satan and has nothing to do with his diet.

Satan has promised a full refund to all customers, but warned that their credit details may have been shared with other malevolent demons.

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Posted: Feb 15th, 2015 by

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