Ed Miliband to put Alan Sugar in all schools

In a bold policy commitment, the Labour leader has said he would ensure all school leavers have an exit interview with Lord Sugar under a new ‘Apprentice guarantee’.

‘This would cover a range of tasks including salesmanship, requisitioning and project management,’ said Labour leader Ed Miliband, insisting the training would provide significant opportunities for those hoping to experience the high-flying world of fast-food catering. Under a contract with Lord Sugar, terms of which have not been disclosed, those who fail will be given a second chance to improve themselves doing menial jobs at Amstrad where he can shout at them all day long.

Tory MP Grant Shapps has been critical of Mr. Miliband, claiming his plans cannot even come close to matching Conservative proposals for funding three million extra trolley attendants.

Mr Miliband spoke passionately about his own apprenticeship working for a clown car manufacturer, and how it prepared him for running the Labour Party. A spokesman said: ‘All school leavers deserve to familiarize themselves with a typical British working environment. Which of course means being told, on a regular basis: You’re Fired.’

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Posted: Feb 17th, 2015 by

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