The United Nations is proposing a radical new way to end poverty in Africa; training farmers to switch from subsistence agriculture to internet fraud.
‘It’s simple;’ said Mr James Bowen, UN Spokesman for Development. ‘Give a man a fish and you feed him for a day. Teach him to phish, and before you know it he’s ordering a Merc and moving fast up the Nigerian rich list.’
The so-called ‘ScamAid’ initiative will teach modern-day Robin Hoods to empty the bank accounts of rich Westerners to pay for schools and health clinics in third world communities. According to the United Nations, only 0.5% of the developed world would have to be thick enough to hand over their personal details to a local ScamAid partner in order to vaccinate and educate every child under twelve. ‘It’s basically a tax on stupidity’ explained the UN spokesman. ‘So we’re forgetting all that worthy water pumps and irrigation stuff. Instead local church leaders are learning how to send emails about penis enlargement and Viagra samples.’
A pilot scheme in Burkina Faso raised millions of dollars sending out messages telling Western office workers that they have won the Nigerian lottery. Speaking through an interpreter, a local villager elder explained how ScamAid had helped his family. ‘In my land there is no water. The cattle die. My wife walk many miles for water and firewood. But now I have laptop and Paypal account. Sell stuff on eBay I don’t have. Thank you United Nations.’
However some local politicians have grown so rich siphoning money out of the ‘ScamAid’ project that they are now spending all day on their expensive new computers. One military leader has complained that he sent off thousands of dollars in response to a Spanish time-share investment opportunity, but has yet to hear anything back.