Notorious party-pooper Cancer is looking to present itself in ‘a more positive light’. ‘Look, I’ve done some things I’m not proud of, but who hasn’t’?’ said the malignant neoplasm, fiddling with someone’s DNA. ‘Isn’t it time for us all to move on? Plague doesn’t get such bad press anymore does it, and even Ebola is threatening to evolve.’
Ipswich-based PR company Disa Star, which took Cancer on as a client last year and were working with it to improvise its public image. ‘We’re thinking about maybe some sort of mascot, you know like that weird dog shit thing that EDF uses?’ said director Jenny March. ‘Or maybe a nice slogan: ‘Cancer, killing you before the Sino-American war of 2027’, maybe.