Parisian waiter ‘accidentally nice’ to English family

claim on insurance for distress dismissed with unapologetic shrug

In an unprecedented disruption of normal relations between France and Great Britain, a Paris waiter has admitted being ‘accidentally nice’ to an English family visiting Paris. The Hatcher family from Letchworth, Herts, are still ‘in shock’ after the incident in which bistro waiter Georges Latour smiled and wished the family ‘A bientôt’ and politely thanked them for the adequate tip which had been left for him.

Graham Hatcher said:  ‘We were completely shocked and I could see that the children were scared and upset.  The holiday had been lovely up to then, typically Parisian.  The museum staff at the Louvre were completely pig ignorant, the Gendarmes pointedly ignored us when we asked for directions, and even when we went to Euro Disney, Goofy and Minnie Mouse shrugged contemptuously when we asked for a picture with the kids.  It was perfect; we couldn’t have asked for a more authentic Parisian experience.  And then in one moment, the whole holiday was ruined’.

President Hollande has personally expressed grave concern over the incident and the President of the Waiters Union, the Federation Nationale du Serveurs Grossieur, issued a statement:  ‘Visitors from all over the world have come to expect a certain standard of seething contempt from the waiters of Paris.  I can only express my personal apologies to the Flaccid, Charmless Rosbifs involved in this incident and assure them that if they return to Paris, I will personally make sure they are treated like the Anglo Saxon refuse they are’.

The waiter at the centre of the incident has been suspended from his post and stripped of his apron and bow-tie pending a full inquiry.  Speaking from his home in the 18th Arrondisement, Monsieur Latour said:  ‘It had been a long day, I was exhausted.  It was a moment of thoughtlessness.  I’d already worked a 36-hour week as a sneering Gallic Stereotype.  If the Hatcher’s ever do decide to return, I promise wholeheartedly to snigger at their pasty complexions and phlegm in their onion soup to ensure they experience the true taste of Paris’.

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Posted: Mar 6th, 2015 by

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