Bigamy arrest near St Ives leads police to cat-trafficking ring

I've heard about this: cat smuggling!

After a tip-off from an anonymous individual travelling to St Ives, the police have arrested James Green, 38, from Wolverhampton, for bigamy. In what is believed to be a severe case of benefit fraud, Green was allegedly found to be legally married to seven different women, all of whom appeared to accept the situation as they were travelling with him in one group.

However, this finding turned out to be just the tip of the iceberg. Upon entering Green’s extended former council house, police found sacks of cats strewn around. A total of 2,744 cats, including a whopping 2,401 kittens were discovered in squalid conditions. The police believe that a deal was being struck with some international cat dealers in China for the purchase of the animals.

Green was reportedly scheduled to meet his contacts at a warehouse in St Ives. Police say it is unclear whether the kits, cats, sacks and wives were also intending to go with him. Inspector McLane of West Midlands Police said: ‘I’ve never heard of anything like that. I mean imagine how full the train would be with everything on it. No, I don’t think they were all going, I think it would just have been Mr Green.’

A spokesman for the Catholic Church branded Green’s behaviour as disgraceful. Women’s rights organisations expressed concern about his wives being forced to carry heavy sacks around. The RSPCA condemned the ‘disgusting welfare conditions’ that had led to cats being put in sacks, while Battersea Dog and Cat’s Home called on the public to take home a rescue cat rather than buy from kitten farms.

‘It’s all a load of made-up tosh to fill the papers,’ Green told reporters after his release on police bail. ‘This bloke who shopped me said he was going TO St Ives, so clearly my lady friends and I were walking AWAY from it, weren’t we? As for getting 2,744 cats to move in the same direction at the same time, you want to try it – it’d be like, well, herding cats. The women are all mine though, I got them by mail order from the Philippines.’

Tom Holder

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Posted: Apr 5th, 2015 by

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