Morrissey has been wrongly imprisoned for his role in the arrest and torture of protesters in Egypt, after his name was mistakenly typed into court records. The angst-ridden singer is now spending 20 years in a jail in Cairo where every day really is like Sunday.
Meanwhile ex-president Mohammed Morsi is completing a tour with a Smiths tribute band, playing various hits from his days in the Muslim Brotherhood. These include lyrically challenging songs about the loneliness of Iran’s Revolutionary Guard and the hanging of protestors instead of DJs.
Friends say that Morsi he will struggle with growing a quiff and portraying Lancashire nihilism but he does share Morrissey’s view that Margaret Thatcher should have been guillotined. One judge defended the decision, however: ‘Morsi would have found prison better than life as a Morrissey impersonator. Heaven knows he’s miserable now’.