City analysts have announced that they believe that the SNP will attempt to take over at least one mainstream UK political party in order to expand south of the border, with UKIP being their preferred choice.
As markets closed at 10pm on the 7th May, it soon became apparent that SNP stock had risen much higher than forecast, and that they were in a position to use their bullish status to acquire more market share via a hostile buyout.
Alex Salmond, a non-executive director and former CEO of the SNP, approved of such a bid. ‘UKIP already have a widespread and expanding customer base, and share our basic ethos of independence. They just aren’t producing the results that we are in terms of elected MPs. We think that we can change that with a few more Scottish accents and the odd wee dram of whisky rather than the real ale orientated marketing that they’ve been using up until now. With these minimal changes, they really will slot into our brand rather well.’