Man signs e-petition for something, feels much better

one click away from world domination

Forty-eight year old Colin Taylor of Eastleigh is said to feeling ‘considerably more positive’ about his life, after entering his email address into a small box for an online petition last Tuesday.

The action, which took approximately five seconds, along with another fifteen ‘to check out what it was all about’, is said to have had a significant restorative effect on Mr Taylor’s self-image as a ‘concerned and empowered global citizen.’

‘I could feel my social conscience exploding back into life’ explained an animated Mr Taylor, squeezed into his bright yellow ‘83% say no to Cruise Missiles’ t shirt, last worn in 1985. ‘The petition was something about bees, I think: too many of them. Or not enough of them. Anyway, I was incensed and knew I had to find some way to act, as I placed the cursor over the box and clicked ‘autofill.’’

‘And next I discovered that I was the 8,733rd person to sign it’ he added, warming to his theme. ‘It was as if I had joined of a whole army of people who were all marching on Downing Street together, telling David Cameron ‘enough is enough with this bee thing.’’

Mr Taylor was further heartened by news yesterday that the 11,222 strong e-petition has forced an immediate u-turn by Downing Street over bees.

‘This was something of a wake up call for us in Whitehall I’m afraid’ confessed Sir Nathan Alcock, Senior Press Officer at the Department for the Environment. ‘We’ve had a rather cavalier attitude to this kind of policy-making, commissioning some high level research, or some such trifle. But when eleven thousand people make their feelings known by hurriedly filling out a one-line response device, you know that the nation has risen up as one and is demanding radical change.’

Mr Taylor is said to be ‘actively searching his inbox’ for further opportunities to make his voice heard. He also plans a one-man ‘Occupy’ protest in his living room next Bank Holiday Monday, unless it’s really sunny.

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Posted: May 11th, 2015 by

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