The English FA has claimed they are ‘more than ready’ to host the next round of shady, under-the-table bribes, should the 2022 World Cup location be reconsidered following Sepp Blatter’s resignation.
‘Obviously we have the infrastructure to replace Qatar if needed,’ said an FA spokesman, detailing the ‘financial know how and nouse to fiddle funds, if you know what I mean’, in the City. ‘We have world class operatives in backhanders and corrupt payments running the country too,’ suggested another official, who admitted that England probably had the right amount of pitches to host the World Cup for the right money, *wink, wink, nudge, nudge*.
‘We’d host the 2018 World Cup too,’ he added, but agreed that when it comes to bribes, money laundering and lying through the back teeth ‘those pesky Ruskies take some beating.’ The decision to relocate the 2022 World Cup hasn’t been made yet, but the English FA confirmed that initial tentative plans had been drawn up ‘on the back of an envelope. A big, brown envelope.’