Socialites attending Saturday’s Epsom Derby say the whole event was ruined by the disgusting smell of horse manure and the annoying breaks they had to endure to watch the stupid creatures chasing each other round the track.
Erica Tompkinson-Blythe, heiress to the Ethniclenze housing development empire, complained that some photographers attending the Derby had spent the day taking pictures of horses and had ignored her cocktail party altogether.‘Nobody takes Tatler to see pictures of midgets on horseback…they take it to see pictures of how fabulous we are and how expensive our hats look’ opined Erica.
Ms Tompkinson-Blythe said the crowd had gone into delirious delight when they spotted her party popping champagne corks but the moment had been ruined when some ‘horrid little Italian chappie on a horse’ had tried to steal the limelight.
‘You could tell the spiteful little man was the ringleader…he was first in the queue, leading all the other silly horse riders on’ she moaned. ‘Oh, I do hope they won’t have those dreadful fat ladies bellowing at each other at Glyndebourne this season. It does so detract from ones dinner party.’