Osborne to sell his own grandmother

Chancellor of the Exchequer George Osborne is to sell his own grandmother to help reduce the deficit, according to a Treasury spokesman.

The move follows Osborne’s announcement that he intends selling government shares in Royal Mail and RBS.

Labour’s leadership candidates have denounced the plan. ‘We’ve been here before,’ said Yvette Cooper, warning that, as with the sale of the Royal Mail, Osborne is likely to sell his grandmother at below the market price.

And City analysts say that Osborne’s move could bring thousands of grandmothers onto the market, thus depressing the price. ‘We don’t want a glut of grannies on the market,’ said one analyst.

‘It’s a disgrace,’ a spokeswoman for Age UK said, ‘giving people free TV licences then selling them. If the chancellor is really strapped for cash, why can’t he sell his own mother?’

Former Chancellor Gordon Brown also rubbished the plan, pointing out that Mr Osborne would be better off selling all her gold jewellery instead.

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Posted: Jun 12th, 2015 by

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