Universities in the UK have hit back at students in the wake of a report that suggested up to 40% of them didn’t feel they were getting ‘value for money’ on yearly tuition fees.
“Nine grand for a 12 month booze-fuelled, self catering orgy?” snorted the University of Essex in Colchester, “That’s a bleedin’ bargain mate, all day long! Magaluf with a free STI and consular assistance will cost you £699 down the high street mate – for TWO WEEKS!. Oh my days, do you know you’re bloody born?”
Philippa Smith-Smythe is studying Science of Ambiguity at the University of East Anglia in Norwich. “It’s totally unfair to suggest that students are living the good life,” she says from behind an iced Mocha, suspended in a liquid nitrogen-cooled bong at the campus wine bar. “£9,000 is not inclusive I might add; I had to pay for the Megabus down to Glastonbury last week, and someone said I’ll need some wellies.”
Iroquois Pliskin (hat-tip to Crayon)