To the disappointment of a nation of tennis fans, ‘Tiger’ Tim Henman is out of Wimbledon yet again, this time finding himself ousted from the TV commentary box by an unknown Italian sports anchor.
A large crowd gathered to watch the big screen at Wimbledon, now dubbed ‘Timmy’s telly’, as Henman made his commentating debut on the Woman’s singles game between Li and Rodionova. However, he was completely out-analysed by Francesco Nova, who was making his debut for SportItalia.
‘He was simply the better man on the day,’ admitted a disappointed Henman. ‘When Rodionova broke serve in the 2nd set, he shouted ‘She hitta da ball very nice’. I just couldn’t compete with such verbal dexterity.’ Despite hundreds of tennis fans shouting ‘Come on Tim’ as he prepared to sum up the encounter between sets, he was unable to match the rapid fire delivery of his Italian counterpart. ‘It iz nice sunny day!’ quipped Henman’s opposite number, ranked 75th best commentator in Italy. ‘Nice tennis, play very good!’
When Tim needed to dig deep and find the character to get himself out of his tongue-tied silence, he simply found that he had no reply to the Italian’s analysis. ‘Always over da net she hit, bellissimo!’ ‘Er, yeah.’ mumbled Henman, although his reply went unheard as he was leaning away from the microphone.
When asked if there was any chance of Henman trying again next year, his agent said that he might not be available. ‘Tim is planning to go on Celebrity Big Brother, which starts the week before Wimbledon. Mind you, on this form he’ll be the first one out, so he’ll be probably be free after all.’