Canada runs out of coconut

After a surge in demand during the first week of July, Canada has run out of coconut. Famous for not leaving much margin for error when importing coconut, the Canadians had got away with it until now.

However, an extra 52 tourists visited for the Women’s Football World Cup and their unexpected appetite for the fibrous drupe has led to a crisis, with 24 people who ‘swear by coconut water’ saying ‘Bloody hell, still no coconut water?’ and dying.

Canada’s Minister for Obscure Fruits has now reported that Mexico, its closest coconut-producing neighbour, has agreed to fire coconuts over the United States into a huge net 40 miles west of Montreal by means of pulling palm trees a long way back, then letting go.

Tom Learmouth

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Posted: Jul 9th, 2015 by

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