‘Queens of Hazzard’ rebooted as General Lee gets a rainbow flag

Queens of Hazzard

The General Lee, iconic 1969 Dodge Charger stock car from The Dukes of Hazzard, is set to star in a radical new reboot of the popular 1980s TV show, with its trademark Confederate battle emblem replaced by a rainbow flag. The Queens of Hazzard is still set in Hazzard County, Georgia and will feature a pair of loveable rogues who get into all sorts of scrapes as their conventional Southern neighbours come to terms with their same-sex relationship.

‘When I heard that Bubba Watson was painting over the flag of the General Lee, it all just clicked into place,’ said HBO commissioner Martin Shuffleberg. ‘We at HBO have always wanted to make something like this – a show that reflects the acceptance and tolerance that has been at the core of this great country since, oh, at least June.’

Some TV insiders have accused HBO of cashing in on the ‘pink dollar’. ‘Just because everyone is overlaying the rainbow flag on their Facebook profiles, it doesn’t mean you have to plaster it all over an entire series,’ complained critic Thaddeus Hutton. ‘And besides, welding a car’s doors shut, thus leaving the windows as the only means of egress, is in clear contravention to all automotive health and safety regulations.’

TV show-runner Russell T. Davies also has reservations. ‘This smacks a little bit of reinventing the wheel,’ he said. ‘Championing the alternative lifestyle has been a mainstay of American ‘good ole’ boy’ action-comedy for decades – Every Which Way But Loose, Knight Rider and remember BJ and the Bear? I mean, it doesn’t get any more explicit than that!’

A preview clip of the pilot episode has already appeared online, showing the boys’ nemesis, Boss Hogg, an aspiring Republican senator who attempts to overturn liberal state legislation with the help of his bungling sidekick Sherriff Huckabee, but is frustrated by the car-racing consensual couple as they smuggle moonshine over the state border to a lesbian wedding in Alabama.

In addition to Uncle Jesse and his beard, series favourite Daisy Duke also makes an appearance: ‘Daisy Duke’s takin’ her purty lil’ self downtown in some cut-off jeans, lookin’ hotter ‘n a jalapeno pepper down a coalmine in July,’ explains the narrator, ‘but ain’t nobody wolf-whistlin’, no sirree, here in Hazzard County us folks respect a wommin’s right to self-expression…’

Written in loving union with the Newsbiscuit Massive – especially Oxbridge and Crayon

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Posted: Jul 10th, 2015 by

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