Former leader of the British National Party, Nick Griffin, has denied reports that the fat blockage causing a problem in the sewers of his adopted town of Welshpool is down to his takeaway habit.
A spokesman for the somewhat rotund Griffin said, ‘It is simply not true. Nick is very much a good old fish ‘n’ chip eating man-which we know produces little in the way of actual grease – and would not for one second let the foreign muck like kebabs coated in fancy olive oil and whatnot pass his lips. He wouldn’t touch a fat laden chicken tikka massala with a barge pole. Any disgusting lumps of congealed fat down there is foreign fat not good old British lard.’
The blockage is getting worse and causing problems for the people in the town: ‘It’s not right, the bloody English coming over here with their foreign eating ways-why can’t they just eat cawl and leeks like the rest of us?’ said pitchfork wielding local, Dai Jones the 2nd- who likes to be known as Dai twice.
A petition has been signed by the locals of the sleepy Welsh borders town and four hundred people have formed a ring around Griffin’s house shouting: ‘Out out!! kebab-eating Englishman.’
‘I don’t know what the fuss is about’ said Mr Griffin ‘We’re all British, aren’t we?’
S J Roe