Tour de France ends in cheese for bloke who got a bike for Christmas

Now that the seemingly endless Tour de France has reached its familiar climax in Paris, Great British rider Dave ‘Cheddar’ Chapman from Dorking has at last spoken about the unfortunate technical difficulties which denied him victory in the world’s toughest cycle race.

‘Christ, my arse is killing me. These seats are a bloody joke,’ said Dave, as he finally completed the Tour’s 2nd stage, a mere 22 days behind the race leaders. ‘I suppose maybe I should have got a bike right after I saw last year’s Tour on the telly and got some training in, rather than wait until Halfords had its free helmet Christmas special offer.’

While loading his bike rack with more cheese and Stella for the ride home, Dave added; ‘And I would especially like to say a big ‘f*ck you’ to my mates in Team Rose & Crown. Hopefully next time they’ll get a bit further than the first sodding duty-free they see in Calais.’

Crayon

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Posted: Jul 28th, 2015 by

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