Duchess of Cambridge chooses North Sea oil platform career

Following on from the success of the Duchess of Cambridge’s Scuba Diving qualification it has been announced that she will be gainfully employed in the North Sea.

Although the Duchess gained her qualification in the crystal clear waters of the Caribbean from a diving school on the island of Mustique, she is now suitably qualified to embark on a career maintaining North Sea oil platforms.

In addition to her advanced fish identification skills she will now develop her underwater welding techniques and will be reporting for duty at Aberdeen Harbour early next week. ‘The Duchess is to relinquish her ‘softer’ public facing role in favour of some hard graft,’ said a Kensington Palace spokesperson, ‘she is very much looking forward to the prospect of surveying chain anchor legs and inspecting and stabilising underwater oil-pipelines.’

Prince William is said to be right behind his wife’s decision to exchange her designer hats in favour of the DSL B-2 Lightweight Diving Helmet and a pair of flippers. There has however been some concern from several conspiracy theorists over fears that if and when the Duchess becomes expendable, then a convenient attack of the bends would be the likely modus operandi, that or a stray harpoon accidentally discharged by the Duke of Edinburgh.

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Posted: Aug 4th, 2015 by

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