After the public outcry surrounding a Radio 2 appearance in which Mary Berry prematurely revealed the name of the next contestant to exit the Great British Bake Off, MI5 director-general Andrew Parker has been forced to provide a statement clarifying her relationship to national security.
‘Obviously this is a very serious breach of the nation’s trust,’ said Parker. In light of this, we will no longer be telling Mary anything of state importance. We are changing the Trident code as we speak. I don’t want to upset a national treasure, but this has really put us between a rock cake and a hard place.’