ITV has confirmed that the leader of the Labour party, Jeremy Corbyn, is to step in and cover for presenter Jeremy Kyle while he recovers from the shock that his wife has had an affair. Because both have the same given names – Jeremy You Utter Twat – it is believed that this will make the change easier for the audience
‘Apparently Jeremy Corbyn wants to try and make the show less confrontational but I’m sure we can talk him out of that,’ said an ITV spokesman. ‘He also wants the audience to write in with their questions, er – hell-o-o.’
The first show will feature Samantha from London telling the audience ‘My husband stuck his cock in a dead pig’s mouth – now he wants to move in with her.’ The team apparently does not have any DNA evidence but hopes that a bag of pork scratching should be good enough.