Railtrack has announced that the electrification of the Midland Mainline and the TransPennine Express lines will begin again, less than half a century after the last scheduled steam train was withdrawn from service in 1968. [read...]
Jeremy Corbyn has stated his defence policy, in the event that he is Prime Minister at the outbreak of a World War, will be to engage the enemy in interpretive dance. ‘We have a strong history of providing strong dancers, [read...]
‘We’ve been installing twat-detecting software in our cars that by-pass the normal rules of road courtesy,’ admitted a VW Audi spokesman, after issuing a recall on all 2.1 million of the UK’s Audi drivers. They will be required to book an appointment with their local VW Audi agent who will blast a hole the size of a pineapple in their heads using a 12 bore shotgun. [read...]
