Chancellor George Osborne is to remake the popular programme with assistance from cleaning duo Kim and Aggie.
‘The place is full of leftie hippies and it is clear that it is stuffed full to the brim with overflowing ashtrays containing spliffs, empty beer cans and mucky gatefold sleeves. It needs a good shake down.’ said a government spokesman.
It is predicted that Kim ‘Cleaning Queen’ Woodburn will hold up ‘filthy’ ermine robes that ‘look like they’ve been passed down from father to son with nary a spray of Febreze inbetween’ while Aggie ‘dirt detective’ MacKenzie will peer at lab samples of bacteria grown from lube and other ‘unsavoury’ substances.
The Chancellor will allow the cleaning team to keep any £300 they find stuffed in seat crevices in a bid to show the viewers the message that enterprise works.
It is expected that conservative supporting peers will turn out in droves for the show’s filming in the hope that the buxom, firm-but-fair Woodburn will put them over her knee and give the ‘filthy little beggars’ a ‘damned good’ spanking.
S J Roe – hat tip Crayon