ITV spokesperson Micky Smyth told a press conference that said the idea would both enhance ITV shareholder’s profits and provide a useful way of informing viewers without compromising editorial standards or impartiality. Products to be unpredictably ‘micro-advertised’, while Peston thinks up what to say next include holidays in Egypt, male grooming products and something else, as yet not thought of but probably just as commercially lucrative.
‘I don’t necessarily think it’s a bad…’ started Peston at the news conference, before being temporarily replaced by a Muller Fruit Corner (peach and apricot), ‘….idea, and of course in economic terms it’s a really interesting way for a broadcaster to maximise its, its its .. well, the kind of….’
Advertising analyst Jenny Smithurst intervened to say that brands which could ‘synergise’ with Peston’s irregular style might include dementia care charities and investment management firms or theme parks, sanitary ware, bathrooms, payday loans, incontinence solutions and sofas.
‘Robert’s move to ITV shows him as financially savvy, the kind of man who knows the value of the vast amount of money he’ll be earning from commercials for unhealthy fried foods,’ she said. ‘Far more than the BBC can afford which demonstrates why poor old Auntie can’t keep up and will have to stick with that thin bloke with the suits but funnier glasses than Robert’s.’
Peston continued ‘….its commercial profile while challenging the BBC, which of course can’t at the moment at least show – well they can’t be seen to, to to….well unless things change then it’s two fingers up to Huw…Huw…the BBC’s lead newscaster, Huw …. Edmunds .. no .. Edwards!’ At that point an Iceland spokesperson suddenly told the press conference about the crispy bits on its three bird roast.