Reports are surfacing all over the country of hipsters replacing their cigarette rolling paper with wafer thin ham after the WHO recommended classifying ham, sausages and bacon as having the same health risks as cigarettes and alcohol.
‘We were sitting around in a pop-up elevenses bar in Hoxton watching the news when it hit us. If tobacco and ham are supposedly the same now, well, there was only one thing to do,’ explained ‘hamfag’ enthusiast Tobias Ellis-Woods, lighting a smoked ham roll-up as he spoke. ‘I like the depth of smoked ham. Some friends won’t smoke anything but honey roast or peppered. But I’m old school, yeah?’
The hipsters then showed reporters their ‘ideation caravan’ ,where they are experimenting with bacon schnapps and sausage cigars.