The man who lives on the moon in a shack in the latest Christmas advert for John Lewis is said to be wanted for questioning by Operation Yewtree over his relationship with the child featured in the advert. ‘Clearly there is something not quite right here’, said a police spokesman. ‘The way he gets her attention and she responds by giving him a gift would indicate grooming behaviour.’
The police hope to question the man but have found that cuts to the space programme meant that they are not able to access the gentleman in question by sending a squad car to the moon. However, comments on the Daily Mail website are demanding that the moon be exploded as a precautionary measure to deter other inter-planetary paedophiles.