Bryan Hancock, a 32-year-old unemployed alcoholic with a hair-trigger temper from Manchester, has been bemused to be told by the voices in his head to go and give his house a good tidying-up. Following on from his instructions from God or the devil, he isn’t sure which, Hancock has reluctantly spent two hours cleaning scale off the walls in his shower.
‘I asked if that meant cleaning the streets of prostitutes,’ said Hancock. ‘But God or the devil got really angry then and said “NO, you fuckwit, I quite clearly said to clean your bathroom. I’m bloody sick of being misinterpreted, it’s giving Me a bad name.” So here I am. Mind you, I’ll take a chisel with me to the red light district this evening, just in case anything changes.’