Members of the public expressed their gratitude today that the media conglomerate, Celestia, had finally ended speculation by: ‘putting a f@#king number on the front of their f@#king building’. First time visitors, postmen and taxi drivers have hailed the move as finally putting a number: ‘where you’d f@#king logically expect it’.
One delivery driver said it wasn’t a moment too soon: ‘Celestia claims to empower people and improve the quality of life through its information systems. If they are such great communicators, and delivering information to people when they need it, in the format they need it – why the f@#k couldn’t they put a f@#king number on their front f@#king door? This means many people waste up to half an hour walking around, asking random strangers where number 30-38 Hambleton Street is. But nobody ever f@#king knows, because there won’t be one f@#king building in the entire f@#king street that has a f@#king number on it. And nobody in the street knows, not even the man selling f@#king newspapers’.
‘Do I sound a tad peeved?’